Sunday, September 14, 2008

If it's not Scottish, It's CRAP! (part 1 of 2)

Well over a month ago I asked Al and Marissa if they wanted to go to the Fratellis show in September, but unfortunately their dance card was already full for that night, seeing another show. Their friend Amy really wanted to see the show however and said she'd go with me, so it was a go. Amy and I had some miscommunication and each thought we were supposed to be buying the tickets, so we ended up with 4. It worked out okay though, as I ended up asking Andrea if she'd like to join us.

I drove down to Illinois the day before the show. (another blog, lol)..Al met me at my folks place on wednesday afternoon and we drove into the city together, picking Andrea up on the way. The 3 of us met up with Maris and Amy at Earwax (which has yummy vegetarian good....most of the time) Al oggled the waitor and Maris and I took silly pictures of each other. It wasn't until the ride into the city that I realized the concert Al and Maris were going to see was Does It Offend You, Yeah? I was suddenly very sad and torn, as I love DIOYY but I also love the Fratellis. He made it a little better by saying that DIOYY would be hosting a dj set afterwards, so we should make it back for that.

So, off we went--Amy and Andrea and I. Just after we jumped in the cab, I see Morgan, from DIOYY walking down the street. I rolled down the window, screaming "Morgan!!!" He was frightened and confused and it was beautiful---I yelled to him that we wouldn't make the show but would see him afterwards and that Al and Maris were already there. (I found out later that he already knew this) So, we continue giggling and head to the HOB.

We get to the HOB and through their ridiculous security, only to find that it's an all ages show....filled with hundreds of little teeny boppers. I wanted to vomit. (actually I wanted to punch some people, but for good reason). It was about 15 minutes into the 1st opener when we arrived, so sadly we weren't against the stage on the "fuck rail".....some little snatch faced bitches were in said spot. So Amy and I are chatting between a couple songs, and one of said snatch faced bitches turns her barbie head around, looks at Amy and me and says in her Evanston meets the Valley voice, "like excuse me, there's a concert going on"
oh...........it's on bitch. I quickly respond back, "this isn't mozart in the park, plus it's past your bedtime. go home." She snapped her air filled head back around....which is good, because if she had looked at me for one more second there would have been an imprint of my hand on her head. (apparently she was really into the openers-opener...yeah, as in "not even good enough to be on the ticket or marquee.") So, the second band takes the stage and Amy starts to have a little spastic groupie dance brew in her hips...it's really quite cute. She really likes Airborne Toxic Event. Midway through their set I asked Amy if she'd mind going upstairs to avoid the ever increasing crowd of pubescent on the floor. She agreed to do so after their set. So, we escaped the kiddyland and headed up to the balcony level. We found a spot to stand that wasn't great, but it had a good view of the stage, and better yet, everyone around us was at least 25. perfect. We struck up a conversation with this lovely couple, Mark and Kathy, and shared our experience with the aforementioned snatch faced bitch. They found it quite entertaining and shared their annoyance with the crowd. Mark was a dead ringer for Hugh Grant...and not in a vague way...in a "hi, I'm Hugh Grant" (in an english accent of course) and I would have believed him....crazy. (side note, Kathy says they hear that all the time and have gotten stopped for autographs and sometimes Mark goes along with it--which I loved)

So, the Fratellis take the stage and we're dancing and singing, and I look over to my right to smile at our new friends, and they're gone! poof...as if they were a figment of my imagination. I shrug my shoulders and went along singing. Half way through the next song a hostess comes and taps me on my shoulder and says, "would you like to sit in a private opera box?"
"um, yes, yes I would" (and of course I'm thinking---what the fuck? someone loves me) She leads the three of us into not just any private opera box, but one on the far right of the stage, inside the curtains, practically on top of the stage. In said opera box are Mark and Kathy, sporting mischievous smiles. I don't know how they scored this and I don't want to. (although secretly I think Mark played the Hugh Grant card) We're giddy with our new accommodations and are closer to the stage even then those little twats down on the fuck rail.....which by the way, Barbie twat, looked up at one point, sees Amy and me and we could see the rage on her face...we quickly lowered our maturity level and flipped her off. It was great, really. (I'd show you a picture of the view, but my worthless cell phone won't send me the pictures--and the HOB has a strict no "real" camera policy, and I hate them for it)

Chelsea Dagger came on and we jumped and danced, and our box of happiness (hey, get your head out of the gutter--the opera box) pointed at me every time the chorus came on..........and if I haven't mentioned it yet, they mention my name in 3, yes 3 songs.....it was meant to be.

So, we (along with a good deal of the crowd) are yelling "I love you" and "Scotland rocks" etc etc (they're from Scotland, der)...and at a quieter moment I take it upon myself (I take lots of things upon myself after a few beers--this is a trend at shows, no?) to scream, "FREEDOM!!!" (ala Braveheart if you didn't pick that up)...Jon Fratelli hears me, looks up at the box and says, "fuck yeah".........um hi, best moment EVER!!! Before the show was over we had a nice chorus line of kicks in the box as well. Directly below me was the sound guy with a set list at his side, so we knew exactly what was coming next the whole time....he looked up at me at one point, as to show me the set list---we had a moment. We practically made out.

So, they come on for 2 more songs, and then it was over........kinda. At the HOB there's the velvet curtain which closes, so you can't see the roadies break down...that is unless you're INSIDE the velvet curtain, which low and behold our box was. I yelled to my new sound guy boyfriend that I wanted the set list, and he jumped on top of a speaker to give it to his Rapunzel. The roadies continued to break down, and we decided to press our luck....why just get one set list when you can have ALL SIX............uh huh, exactly. Yeah, we did. :)

We finally said goodbye to Mark and Kathy, and left HOB, jumping in a cab to head back over to Subterranean to meet Al and Maris, and add more fun and OOC ridiculous to our night.

TO BE CONTINUED..........................................

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